Artem Lowell [MSRA] — Profilo capsuleer EVE Online

Once a humble ship janitor on a Gallente frigate, I rose to power when I accidentally hit the warp drive while cleaning. (Note to self: Those buttons are NOT for dusting.) The entire crew found themselves in Jita, and thus, I was promoted to Navigator for my 'uncanny sense of direction'.

My specialties include (but are not limited to):

- Inter-galactic navigation (I forgot to map my chain and now am checking each hole)
- Precision PVP (Read: Blind luck)
- Renowned ISK Financier (I sell masterclasses in fiscal humility, one catastrophic ship purchase at a time)
- Master diplomat (Read: 'Please don't shoot, we can talk about this!')

In between irritating the napping Sleepers and enjoying the galactic version of Where's Waldo with wormholes, I've honed my craft of 'Spaceship Flip-It or Rip-It'. My ships aren’t just gently used, they’re thrice-, quadrice-, and 'fell-off-the-back-of-the-freighter'-used. The crown jewel of my flotilla? The notorious `Non-Euclidean Xpress`. Purchased for less ISK than a kindergarten mining laser, she’s a Frankenstein fusion of salvaged parts, mysterious splotches, and a rainbow assortment of duct tape (a must-have for any ship maintenance kit). She's held together by sheer bloody-mindedness, an unhealthy confidence in my cloaking skills, and the persistent whisper that CONCORD has a spreadsheet with my face on it. She's a living testament to the EVE doctrine that one capsuleer's space scrapheap isk-sink can indeed become another's ludicrously overpowered, warp-speed Vixtrix luxury speed demon.

Fly safe, and anything under 5 au/s isn't worth worth the warp conduit!!

Artem Lowell

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