[DPMC] Doug Pirahna Memorial Corporation

Our motto: "Et matrae tuae!"

Named in honor of Doug Pirahna, who controlled an entire region using sarcasm: irony, puns, pathos, satire, and litotes.

What we do:
- Haul anything from point A to point B. Except slaves.
- Buy, sell, trade, barter, or swindle anything we can make a profit on (except slaves)
- Carry out missions.
- Hunt rats for fun and prophets (sic).
- Mine when absolutely necessary.
- Anything else we know how to do, have the equipment to do, and get paid enough to do.
- Make fun of anyone and anything.
- Go down with a laugh on our lips.
- Encourage extreme naughtiness amongst our membership.

What we don't do:
- Anything to do with slaves, except rescue them.
- Fly around in formations of 50-100 ships unless we get paid to video the whole heroic battle from a safe distance
- Have a corporate hangar, have a big bank account to share with newbies,
- Take anything seriously, show respect for anyone, or follow political correctness.
- Whine when we die.

Oh, yeah, we also like to keep the trade routes pretty free of rats and annoying individuals. For larger impediments, we have very, very powerful friends. Really. I mean, they are seriously nasty.

If you're interested, convo Frater Patroabo and send an example of your best satire, sarcasm, etc. Our people will contact your people.