Intergalactic Spooge

15 years ago me and my friend had just perfected the best hash ever. Our secret ingredient was gasoline. So after it was done my friend decided to get the vape going. He pops the hash in readying it and i went to the bathroom to release some stool. Then i heard a loud BANG. I ran out of the bathroom and saw my friend dead with pieces of shrapnel from the vape. Turns out he accidentally lit a pipe bomb instead of readying the vape. I could barely understand what was going on due to the large amounts of LSD I took. I was too afraid to call the cops so i did what any best friend would do. I called his mom. As i was calling her the phone started melting due to the intense fire consuming the house. Then i heard sirens, the fire fighters were coming. I passed out and woke up in a hospital bed. Turns out my friend was still alive and was actually trying to kill me because i stole his limited edition pepsi crystal from the year 1987 before the Americans stole the perfected recipe from the japs