[SOLD.] I'd Sell My Mother If I Could Make A Profit

CORPORATE BYLAWS:

#1 "Once you have their money, you never give it back."

#2 "Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to."

#3 "Never allow family to stand in the way of profit."

#4 "Greed is eternal."

#5 "Never be afraid to mislabel a product."

#6 "Never place friendship above profit."

#7 "Nothing is more important than your health ... except for your money."

#8 "It never hurts to suck up to the boss."

#9 "War is good for business."

#10 "Peace is good for business."

#11 "The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife."

#12 "Free advice is seldom cheap."

#13 "Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies."

#14 "Females and finances don't mix."

#15 "Expand or die."

#16 "Every man has his price."

#17 "Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack."

#18 "Treat people in your debt like family: exploit them."

#19 "Never have sex with the boss's sister."

#20 "You can't make a deal if you're dead."

#21 "No good deed ever goes unpunished."

#22 "It's always good business to know about new customers before they walk in your door."

#23 "Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer."

#24 "Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success. Don't hesitate to step on them."

#25 "Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach."

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