[DGNTY] County Coroner's Office

If you've spotted a corpse that needs pickup, please notify us immediately and we'll dispatch an officer as soon as workload allows. If you've notified our office and an officer doesn't arrive, please call supervisor Scott Richards at extension x53425. Thank you and god bless.

Information for new hires:
The county coroner's office handles all official corpse retrieval duties in Eve. We are perpetually understaffed, underfunded, and underappreciated. You will be attacked. Insults will be hurled your way. Citizens will block your access to corpses.

It's important to remember that we are public servants who work FOR the public, not against it. You cannot, under any circumstance, raise your arm against the public. You can, however, advise them that you are an officer of the county, you are on official business, and if they engage in conduct that impedes your official duty as a coroner, they will be held accountable under the law.

Our supervisor, Scott Richards, handles all cases of coroner harassment and in my experience the mention of his name typically defuses the situation with any hostile citizens. Use his name as you see fit to gain access to corpses.

While conducting official business as a coroner, you are required to fly a properly marked city vehicle: the county Corvette. The city lot is filled with brand new corvettes, so don't be afraid to grab one and go. All vehicles must be marked as 'County Coroner" followed by a number designation you may choose for yourself. As an example, your ship name can be "County Coroner 1" or "County Coroner 999". Proper marking is vital and Scott cannot file an official report if you've been assaulted while flying an improperly marked vehicle. MARK THOSE VEHICLES.

Lastly, all corpses will be stored at a location that makes sense for you in your official duty as a coroner. You are free to operate in any system you'd like. Our HQ is in Tama, a low security system known for violence. By now it should be obvious why we've chosen that location—violence produces corpses. In the future, our accrued taxes will be used to contract a city-licensed hauling service to collect our corpses and centralize them. Given our existing workload, however, that prospect seems a long way off.

Remember, we did not get into this line of work to make friends with the living. We are duty-bound to give all corpses a proper resting place, regardless of personal risk. We retrieve our friends, we retrieve our enemies, and more often than not, we retrieve ourselves. It is a thankless job, but it is a necessary one.

"We work for the dead."