Embrose Skahltori

...

So there I was cutting Jimbo free, and well wouldn't you know, that clown gang caught up and cornered us again.

I don't remember much until I woke up later, tied to a Costco folding chair, with a sweaty clown whispering in my ear.

He leaned in real close and started speaking in Hindi; Strange, amiright?

And I tried to give him the respect you'd give a strong adversary, and well, your captor.

But goddamit, I just began giggling. He slapped me so hard, and repeated his words in broken English...

I asked him what that meant for me, and where Jimbo had gone to.

He had a goon behind me free me from tha chair, and lead me to an adjoining room, clasping my shoulders with inhuman strength.

They lead me to a dim-lit room, with a small overhead light, and sat me down on yet again, another goddamn Costco chair.

They were rickety when new, and time hasnt been kind to them. But they are goddawful all the same.

Well, the table was seated for one, with a slice of cake. It had a single sparkling candle, a fork near it, and one oddity.

It had a finger sticking out of it. Jimbo's finger. He said, grunting: " Eat and you shall be free."

What's a girl gonna do. I dined, sheepishly, and held my composure. He sneered reespectfully, and another goon opened a far door.

Daylight poured in, and I gathered myself, grabbed the napkin that I didn't notice til now.

As I wiped the crumbs off my face, I caught the writing on said napkin.

It read "Minmatar Fleet looking for Brave, Sharp, and Industrious souls for its ranks."

Well, maybe I was brave, or the other things, but I damn well needed a new career path. This one hadn't really paid off.

So this is how I'm in the ass-end of space, telling my story to you...

Are you satisfied, because my stein is empty, and I could use another round.

No matter where I go, it seems like the days are hard on me. And I always have another drink for Jimbo.